Life Behind the Masks: Surviving and
Healing from Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse
By Wilma MacLiver
AMAZON #1 NEW RELEASE and AMAZON
BESTSELLER
Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse ~ MDSA
The ultimate betrayal of a child's
trust. The taboo subject led by society's denial that abuse of this nature even
occurs.
Wilma survived 16 years of her mother
Hellen's brutal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse-including acts of
torture.
Manipulated, controlled, and violated
from her earliest memories, Wilma despaired from the constant hunger, sexual
abuse, violent beatings, and strip searches. She feared suicide was her only
option.
The stigma and shame of the abuse
silenced Wilma for years.
As Wilma found the courage to speak her
unspeakable secret- she was relieved by the support she received, after years
of being convinced no one would believe her.
MacLiver wrote her powerful, true
story in this inspiring book from a daughter-survivor's point of view.
Life Behind the Masks is a must-read
to witness her miracle healing from the worst kind of sexual abuse- an
unforgettable memoir.
Available
in Paperback & eBook
About the Author
Wilma MacLiver was born in Pennsylvania in 1964 and
raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She began
writing at the age of 10 to relieve the pain of her mother’s unrelenting abuse.
When she began to receive help for the abuse, she searched for a book on
mother-daughter sexual abuse (MDSA), from a daughter’s perspective. There were
none available. She decided then, that if she could ever find the courage, she
would write her personal memoir, for other daughters searching.
She knew she wasn’t alone.
This is her true account of the unspeakable abuse
she suffered. When she was 10, Wilma saw a diary with a lock and key. She had
no money to purchase it, but she was intrigued by the idea that she could
write, and no one be able to read her private thoughts. In her environment, she
always had to find a way, and this was no exception; so, she began writing on
notebook paper–Hellen would never know–and she flushed the papers down the
toilet so Hellen wouldn’t find them. Her system worked and provided some
relief. Through the years, she wrote and hid her journals.
Eventually, she was able to confide in her husband
Greg, and finally her counselors. She kept journals throughout her counseling
and healing process. Wilma continues to journal and to write nonfiction,
poetry, fiction, and humor.
She is a public speaker and lives in Arizona with her husband Greg, of forty years. Wilma enjoys coffee, reading, long walks and spending time with her family and friends.
This is her first book.
https://www.lifebehindthemasks.com/
Top reviews from the United States
Kathleen Malone
5.0 out of 5 stars Masks are not just for covid or halloween...
Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2021
Masks? They most often appear at Halloween, but these were not the kinds of masks Wilma MacLiver needed in order to endure the first 16 years of her life. The kinds of masks the title of this book relates to are the ones that covered tears unshed, wounds untreated, words unsaid, and pain suffered in silence. These invisible ones are the kinds of masks necessary when a mother abuses a daughter. That the author survived severe torment to receive healing is a testament to the healing all humanity needs right now. For her, the appropriate combination of modalities for her ongoing healing of physical and emotional abuse is pastoral counseling, the science of EMDR, and an ability to write the truth. She abandoned the masks and raised her voice through Life Behind the Masks. She deserves admiration, honor, and gratitude.
3 people found this helpful
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leerread
5.0 out of 5 stars Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse (MDSA) Comes To Light In This Memoir
Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2021
Child abuse should never happen, but it does. When it happens between a mother and daughter, especially the way it is described in BEHIND THE MASKS, the crime is even more criminal. The value for readers in this book is the promise of healing. The author was able to overcome embedded trauma to raise two children and break the cycle of abuse. Remarkable. The value of compassionate counseling and EMDR therapy are matched by the deep love the author describes between her and her husband. May this book guide other victims of abuse along the paths of their own healings.
2 people found this helpful
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Jennifer Jenkins
5.0 out of 5 stars Heartwrenching, Powerful, and Full of Grace
Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2021
Wilma is a fantastic narrator with her choice of words and images. My heart literally broke reading all of the horrific acts she endured at the hands of her own mother, and I could play them out in my mind. Yet, the book serves as a powerful reminder to always be vigilant in protecting our children. The grace of God she experienced and was able to use to forgive her mother and close her book was in one word....amazing. I am highly humbled to have met the author, and she is a giant among women. I highly recommend this book to anyone that may be going thru their own struggles. Well done, Wilma!
3 people found this helpful
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Ryan S
5.0 out of 5 stars The story we should all read
Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2021
What stories should we know, even if we wouldn't wish the knowledge on anyone? Wilma MacLiver's story is one of those. A wonderfully woven tale of heartache, pain, perseverance, healing, and survival, MacLiver's story brings us to tears and spotlights our collective passe toward violent sexual abuse that may occur right next door. We cannot not read. We cannot not act.
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars a very courageous writer and story
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2021
Wilma MacLiver tells a very courageous story.
3 people found this helpful
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An extraordinary memoir, Life Behind the Masks, shares the painfully trauma-ridden childhood of a truly exceptional woman. Wilma lets other survivors know they are not alone, they matter, and what happens to them matters. Through Wilma MacLiver's undaunted courage to break the cycle of childhood sexual abuse in her family, the reader aligns with her struggle to share her voice, a voice kept silent for too long. She reminds us that through acknowledgement, healing comes. We are lifted as Wilma becomes unmasked and reclaims her life!
~ Trisha Meili, New York Times bestselling author, I Am the Central Park Jogger: A Story of Hope and Possibility
______
Child sexual abuse often brings up many questions, with "Why didn't they tell?" being first on the list. It is difficult for people to comprehend the way abuse can impact a child's every thought, action, and reaction—much less understand the long-term havoc it creates in their life. Wilma's amazing courage to bare her soul and share her childhood with the reader strikes pay dirt: one cannot read her account without having an answer to this question, as well as a host of others. Wilma's genuineness and willingness to explore her own culpability is profound and calls attention to the mental anguish victims go through, as they own the shame and guilt dumped on them by their offender. It fosters an understanding that is clear: not lost in theory and speculation. Wilma's account of her life experiences is a gift to other victims, to those who advocate for them, and to humanity.
~ Dorthy Stucky Halley, LMSW, Victim Services Division Director Office of Kansas Attorney General Derek Schmidt
______
Stark and unfiltered. A survivor's account of her childhood marred by the trauma of maternal abuse. All the signs were there, but those who might have intervened either could not or would not see it. Frustratingly familiar. This book should be required reading for anyone who works with children or with survivors of abuse.
~ Susan Kostenko, M.D. (retired) Adult Psychiatry and Substance Abuse
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I read the
book and it was amazing! It is a very powerful and inspiring story. Thank you,
I look forward to more from this author. ~ Amazon Reader
______
A riveting
and extraordinary memoir about growing up with an abusive mother, Life
Behind the Masks: Surviving and Healing from Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse
by Wilma MacLiver is a bold and startling revelation of the author’s traumatic
ordeal with her mother. It takes a lot of courage to reveal one’s experience of
child abuse for its disturbing and naked reality. But it must be told as part
of the step to help other children realize that they are not alone and that
there are people and support groups out there who are more than willing to
help. The author’s account is her way of reaching out to others who have
experienced similar trauma, and her story will trigger your blood to boil and
even make you shed a tear for the thought that no human being deserves to be
treated this way. I am glad to have the opportunity to read and review Life
Behind the Masks. Wilma MacLiver writes with candor, and there is no masking
of her feelings toward her mother. This is a real-life story that is not for
the faint of heart, as it includes descriptions of physical and emotional
violence that are not limited to sexual abuse but as well as bullying,
harassment, and animal cruelty. Nonetheless, there is still a very good part to
MacLiver’s story: She has written the tale of her pain so well that she has
found closure from all the support and from her freedom to speak. This is an
awe-inspiring, real-life story of survival and healing that deserves to be
read. by Vincent Dublado
______
Many memoirs
carry trigger warnings on their covers for victims of abuse. As one of those
victims, I have rarely been triggered by most narrators’ painful true stories,
but Life Behind the Masks by Wilma MacLiver both shocked and surprised
me. The shock was due to the gender and horrific actions of Wilma’s abuser: her
mother. The surprise rests in how many times I recognized the methods both our
parent abusers used to brainwash, guilt-trip, and generate beliefs of stupidity
and feelings of self-loathing within us. Yet, despite thoughts of suicide, we
both survived, perhaps because of this quote by Theodore Roosevelt that Wilma
supplied: “Courage is not having strength to go on; it is going on when you
don’t have the strength.” That is what Wilma did, day after day, when her
almost maniacal mother beat and starved her, sexually abused her at night, and
berated her as stupid, and unpleasing to God. Then, without warning, Wilma’s
mother physically removed herself from her daughter’s life when Wilma was 16,
but Wilma’s spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical scars took years of
therapy to heal. That said, it will come as no surprise to any abuse victim
that regardless of therapy, one never truly forgets. One of the best quotes
that summarize why and how Wilma’s mother so effectively kept Wilma prisoner of
her own depraved needs comes from Proverbs 18:21 (KJV): “Death and life are in
the power of the tongue.” This mother’s tongue was even more vicious than her
physical abuse. Both will make readers cringe but even more repulsive is how
this mother used the Bible to justify her actions and saw herself as a good
woman worthy of God’s love. Interestingly enough, it’s what we learn toward the
end about the mother’s past that helps us understand, but not excuse her
horrible persecution of Wilma. Wilma MacLiver’s approach to telling her story
is through sharing her thoughts about events she recorded in her journal, then
expanded upon and clarified through those involved in her therapy. This gives
readers an in-depth and less one-sided view of both her mother’s and Wilma’s
behavior. It’s a balanced approach to memoir writing. Life Behind the Masks
is the kind of memoir that any group, whether they be abuse victims, students
or counselors will want to discuss. If you belong to any one of these groups,
this memoir is a worthwhile addition to your library. by Viga Boland
______
Life
Behind the Masks: Surviving and Healing from Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse by Wilma MacLiver is a harrowing and
revealing book about what she endured as a child and later as a teenager. The
chaotic environment of manipulation, starvation, and countless other abuses
that she survived. Her life today is a testament to what one can endure and
overcome. On pages 362-363 is one of the quotes that stayed with me: “They say
the truth hurts, but here’s how it worked in my life: I hurt more people,
including myself, ‘trying to protect the secret’…” These words are an epiphany
that anyone can understand; the damage that comes from keeping a secret. Wilma
MacLiver’s, Life Behind the Masks is a godsend for someone wanting to
reach out to someone else, or to bond with someone that has survived the same
trauma. by Erin Nicole Cochran
______
Life
Behind the Masks: Surviving and Healing from Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse by Wilma MacLiver is an absorbing,
unforgettable story of resilience and overcoming. It involves the unmasking of
mother-daughter sexual abuse, but it takes you back to explain how it all
happened. This powerful story could be triggering for some victims, so readers
should be forewarned. But there are other readers who need to hear this story,
as it can help them face or overcome their own abusive childhoods. This is a
secret that many hide but this book pulls back the curtain in an informative,
helpful way. Wilma's mother neglected and abused her for years, basically
dominating and controlling her like a slave. She endured in silence and even
thought of suicide, but finally discovered the strength to speak the forbidden truth.
Met with surprising support, she found people that believed her and decided to
write her story. As a former social worker, I can say that this memoir was most
likely a cathartic experience for the author, but it can also be a point of
light and impetus for other victims to speak out. In a way, Wilma is blazing a
trail for others. So many people don't catch the signs, don't believe them, or
ignore/minimize them. Even though parts of the book are dark and painful, it is
balanced with hope and positivity. The writing style is raw and powerful. An
example would be the line where she says: "As a result, abuse and incest
continued to be my reality. In essence, my kindergarten." I recommend
Wilma's story to help professionals everywhere, including teachers, clergy, and
support groups. If you or someone you know has been living behind a mask, Life
Behind the Masks by Wilma MacLiver could be the beginning of healing in
your life. by Tammy Ruggles
______
Life
Behind the Masks is
a gripping memoir recounting the horrors endured by Wilma MacLiver during the
first sixteen years of her life at the hands of her own mother, Hellen, who
abused her both physically and sexually. Through years of therapy, Wilma was
able to garner the courage, come forward, and speak up about the horrors she
encountered. Life Behind the Masks: Surviving and Healing from
Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse is both a horrifying and inspiring read. To
think that anyone would have to and could endure such horrors truly causes a
chill to run up your spine, but in the same breath, my admiration for Wilma and
her courage is endless. This book truly had me going through an emotional
roller coaster and caused me to take a good long look at my life. The chapters
start out quite short; however, this is to be expected as they contain memories
from many years past. The later chapters are what truly shake you up and cause
tears to form. Overall, this memoir is beautifully written and speaks out on a
topic that not many are willing to speak about. It is real and raw and shows
the ins and outs of life as a survivor of abuse. by Miche Arendse
From the Author
Abused children live in environments that are beyond their comprehension. What actually happens to children in those circumstances is shocking and deplorable to read about.
The subject of child abuse is difficult, emotional, and disturbing, but it is real. I never imagined I would write about the nightmare of living in my mother’s house, but as I sorted through the memories, I searched for a memoir similar to my own. I found books written by victims of abuse, but none that addressed Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse (MDSA). My searches left me feeling isolated and different. I decided then, that if I ever had the courage, I would write my memoir for other daughters who were searching.
This is the true account of my childhood- one that was terrorized by my mother, Hellen.
During
my early years, Hellen betrayed and abandoned her role as mother and became a
predator from which I could not escape. The mother I depended on and trusted to
love and protect me, instead exploited and destroyed my innocence.
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