|A letter from Jody to someone unmentioned. March 23, 2003|
Abbott "Pete" Smith D.V.M.: June 16, 1938 - February 22, 2010
Virginia Joyann "Jody" Haley Smith: April 2, 1938 - May 9, 2021
Do you remember the framed print of The Moravian Creed in Dr. Smith's waiting room? It was a reminder that "...in all things, love."
Jody references these words in a handwritten letter from March 23, 2003. During this time, Pete and Jody were reconciling from a brief separation. The letter is a photocopy and I don't know if Jody actually mailed the letter or wrote it just to get emotions on paper. She did that often through journaling, notes, and letters. There are papers on top of papers... all with thoughts and quotes, all profound, all noteworthy.
The letter begins...
"This assurance of oneself being right and the other person wrong is the essential basis of what I described as the domestic attitude of the problem adult. It's the rock on which most unsuccessful marital relations are currently wrecked." Dr. Abraham Lowe
When my husband and I were going through a particularly rough time in our marriage, I did a lot of reading - particularly the New Testament, but other sources, C.S. Lewis, etc. I was soon convinced that as a Christian women that what "God has joined together, let no one put asunder" applied to me.
Some of my favorite quotes:
"Time plus pain plus insight brings change."
"Anger - one letter short of Danger."
"A good marriage is based on two forgivers - never on feelings which ebb and flow."
"Changing partners is only changing troubles." (Adolph Coors, IV)
We are still working on our relationship (as will probably be necessary continually for the foreseeable future) but it's better than before and continuing to improve, definitely worth the considerable time and effort.
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It is my hope that someone reading this finds inspiration from Jody's letter. It is a reminder that we must focus on what's before us and reel in stray emotions; hard work in any circumstance is paramount, even in marriage.