Regrets by Sandra Russell

Original Art (c) Sandra Russell

Regrets

Art and Story by Sandra Russell

We often wonder at the change of seasons. Autumn seems to bring out even more nostalgia and reflection than the others. We think about our old school days, and the excitement of new friends and goals, maybe we are just finishing a summer just out of school and are headed for a new job somewhere. Maybe not, maybe we have known many summers and are reflecting on the path not taken? 

We wonder how different our lives might have been "if only"? I wake up sometimes, not from nightmares, but from what I would call 'bad dreams' and in common these dreams feature myself younger, on streets I no longer walk or with people who have passed away or maybe just really aren't features in my life and I wonder what is that all about? Maybe I should have gone to the dance, or gone to that other school or said, no to that one boy and yes to another? 

The trouble with this sort of thinking is that we still only are giving ourselves a sort of fork in the road, and that's a contemporary fork we see now because of our experiences. Maybe those mistakes were exactly what we had to do under the circumstances at the time? The other problem with this is that we are still doing an either/or sort of frame on this little scene. 

The other day I considered how often I do this, and suddenly it occurred to me that there is often if not always, a third choice, maybe a fourth choice and more?! I decided that the path of regret, belongs to a backward glance only as far as you can use that to make today better for yourself and those around you. Trying to relive a past not lived is to walk backward down a rabbit hole. It will only rob you of today and your tomorrows. So, shake that off, look at the beautiful leaves and scents of fall, and drink it in as living this moment richly. Appreciation is the key to moving forward. Happy trails!